Assalamualaikum,

i has no idea about energy conservation day in Bru Bru, neither do i has an opinion about it. but here's a perspective that we ought to think about as shared by my dearest brother, bang jirs. Alhamdulillah. insyaAllah we can all benefit from reading, ameen. just something to ponder over perhaps?

PERSPECTIVE

filler chiller.

assalamualaikum,

man how delusional have i been. not studying for almost a week. and went shopping for home before my last paper. and catching up on season finales and whatnot. ridonkulez. once the revision switch dims, it's suddenly too dark to find the switch to turn it on again, numsayen. but must put on essay gear soon, 4 essays in thr33 hours bebs. although it's a seen exam. but no notes. insyaAllah can doooooooooooooo. work + prayers + tawakkal = your job done. insyaAllah. i am preaching to myself btw, as you can probably tell what my studying habits are (excessive breaks - actually 5 hours is excessive, i don't know what 7 days is) uhhh a week? craig david's song? i totals crack myself up *crickets*

anyway i'm super psyched to be home.. insyaAllah will go smoothly.. albeit what I presume will be a bittersweet first week :'( adjust, insyaAllah. can't believe i haven't been in brunei for most of the year... pretty sure things have changed just as much as they haven't changed there, heh. either way, i can't wait to embrace it.

hehe home :) 8th june and then. 4! yayers!!!! :)) insyaAllah.. btw reminder to self mostly.. even though exams are gradually subsiding.................................... don't let all the prayers subside too :( exams, no exams, must spend time with Allah outside of solat (as in not just 5 times a day within 10-30 mins), insyaAllah. take note, hazeerah ariffin!!!

dark clouds.

assalamualaikum.

i feel completely helpless. i want to get over this state of fear about the consequences of the future so much. dark clouds are above me. the only thing that keeps them away from stomping on me though is hope. hope that i am frankly struggling to keep. and it questions my heart where it really is. but i know, as i repeatedly inject into my thoughts that this hope is all i have. i am helpless but i am hopeful. i have nothing else to cling onto but hope. i really in every sense of the word have nothing to hold onto but hope. there is nothing that suffices me but hope. and i really don't care at the risk of sounding cliche at all because that is the furthest of what I'm feeling, of what I feel :')

just when i'm on the brink of hopelessness... the last few strands of hope save me from drowning and following where the dark clouds go. the last few strands. just when I'm about to fall and maybe I have fallen.. something picks me up.. and that is that bit of hope I managed to keep amidst the situation that I am enveloped in. and there's nothing else that will keep me going.. there's nothing else that can make me go but this hope.

sorry for painting such vagueness and maybe depressing the already darkening clouds. but there is a silver lining. there is always a silver lining.. maybe i can't see it now, maybe you can't see it now, but i believe in it truly that there's always a silver lining.. especially when you hold onto hope. and the "hope" that I have been speaking of in context is not the kind of slogan Barack Obama used in his presidential campaigns or anything of that sort.

Hope that has me going here is the one that has been placed by Allah. seriously, i keep telling myself.. if i lose this, i have nothing else. the hope that i so desperately need that enables me to breathe in a myriad of difficulties. this hope that helps me walk through thorns and hardship. the source of this hope.. more than anything.. is completely my everything. at this point, whatever will the outcome be.. that is what Allah has made for me.. and what I can take comfort in is that I have hope upon Him.. hope on His mercy upon me.. that will never die, insyaAllah.. because without this faith, how will I be able to stand? where would I go to in prosperity and adversity?

ya Allah.. only You know my joys and sorrows. sometimes, or most times, I don't even think I understand my own feelings and thoughts, but You know me more than I know myself.. and what will keep me going through uncertainties in life is the certainty that You are sufficient for me, insyaAllah :)

Multiple choices

Assalamualaikum,

so... during many points in life, surely most of us have met anger. and there we stand, we had two choices: walk away or embrace it. maybe i can't speak for the rest of you, but i'll tell you that for more than many occasions that I can count, I chose the latter. because almost always, I walk and run through life with ego. there's someone we know all to well?

there's just something about attending to my ego. listening to it, the need to stroke it emanates some sort of sick pleasure even if only for a few moments. and when it's not being attended to, there's that voice that scolds me... how could you have just walked away from that? how weak are you that you chose to keep quiet during all of it? don't you have principles? are you seriously going to let him talk to you like that? defend yourself! you know you're right!

Reaction a) You're right.. I shouldn't have to stand for this and accept it, I'm putting my foot down, I can't be treated like this!!!!

Reaction b) Shut up. I'm going to take wudhu and calm myself down because I do not want to react impulsively and do something that would displease my Lord. go away.

tick where relevant? i hope i will remember to take this multiple choice exam the next time I'm confronted with anger and ego.

anger is indeed a human emotion. a natural one? maybe. macam it's such a consuming emotion, that you need to satisfy kalau inda, inda puas... and indeed it's something that all of us find difficulty in controlling. but fact is... everytime I choose to embrace it.. my heart darkens.. and slowly my iman diminishes as my ego is catered to more, than my iman. so really.. is it worth to cater to my ego and anger at the expense of a diminishing iman? which fulfillment will last longer - the answer is clear yet it's still difficult for us to ponder over. manusia.. kami sungguh hina dan lemah.. ya Allah, ampunilah dosa-dosa kami kerana sesungguhnya tiada yang mengampuni dosa-dosa selain Engkau. ameen.

The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry. (Bukhari, Muslim)

Rasulallah Sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam said, "Whoever does not argue when he is in the wrong will have a home built for him on the edge of Paradise. Whoever avoids it when he is in the right will have a home built for him in the middle of Paradise. And whoever improves his own character, a home will be built for him in the highest part of Paradise." [Tirmidhi]

sama-sama lah kitani ambil kata-kata Rasulallah S.A.W., for no man can offer better advice than Allah's messenger... insyaAllah..

ps: i hope this post doesn't come across as angry because it's not meant to. just in case, let me just add some HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHE in hoping that'll change your mind :D :D :D and as yush, speaking to myself before anyone else... all praises be to Allah for every goodness and anything flawed falls upon my own weaknesses.

Language/Bahasa... mana saja.

Assalamualaikum,

wow. se7en days to first paper. fuh. mudahan Allah tolong kitani semua, insyaAllah. ameen.

anyway, moving onto a different subject altogether..

I kind of have a bone to pick with, with people who have a problem with people choosing what language they want to speak in. I don't know, I guess I don't understand the cultural backlash of it all but I mean you can't scold somebody for speaking in a language he chooses to express himself with and instead want him to speak the language you want him to. You know?

No disrespect to anybody in particular, honestly. But I was just thinking that it's offensive to tell people that speaking a foreign language is disgraceful. For me personally, I don't choose to speak in English because I am ashamed to speak Malay. And for the record, I do speak Malay as well.. and honestly in my household, I speak about a 1:1 ratio of English and Malay. i didn't allocate such balance intentionally lol, but yeah I guess I like to express myself in both languages and that's okay.

actually the above seemed quite defensive kekekeke. this wasn't based on personal attacks, btw, just something that I find pretty relevant. Anyway the point of the matter is, you might have reasons why you find speaking in foreign languages is degrading to your culture and heritage, but there is no reason to impose such creed upon somebody else. I guess if necessary, it would be good to remind somebody not to forget their roots.. yeah it is pretty necessary actually.. but we need to remember to do so in gentle manners. try reminding with subtlety and not condescendingly. nothing good comes from (negative) sarcasm, right? oops. i think i just tasted my own bitter medicine *looks at blog title*. and yeah i do believe in such a thing called (positive) sarcasm. huhuhu. i'm learning my limits alright? :p

so, it shouldn't be something to look down upon. biartia ya cakap english saja, kalau ya mau. kalau ya mau cakap melayu pun, biartia, maybe lebih baik. kalau ya mau cakap Arab, lagi tia baik kan. yes, language is identity, but you know what else, it's diversity. we recognize the differences but let's try to take the good in them and leave the bad ones behind, insyaAllah. cematu jua lah the deal with Westernisation is relevant here, it's not good to be carried away with adopting Western lifestyle into our households so again, try to take what's positive and leave what's negative. And significantly, culture shouldn't dictate how we live our lives.. culture is.. culture.. it's a huge component in life but what transcends it? islam, of course :D so cakap apa saja language asalkan inda memurkakan Allah.

i guess this is just my two cents in. and yeah, this is advice to me primarily as always speaking to myself before anyone else...... mana kami sedar kadang-kadang.. benda yang kami inda suka arah orang lain.. rupanya ada arah diri sendiri...