please don't wait when you can want it.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabaraktuh,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

you know how we generally in most cases hate waiting? we just don't like the process. be it waiting for our parents to pick us from school or waiting for the queue for our meds or waiting for our exam results. we always just prefer things that are now because well, later requires waiting and did I already mention that we don't like that?

right.. but what are we doing waiting now? generally we often think that we haven't embraced our relationship with Allah in ways that we should because we haven't had "turning points". it's like i know it's out there but i'll just wait for it to come find me. oh so now we wait, so now we want to wait? when waiting is not required? when this kind of waiting does not actually teach us about patience?

subhanAllah, has Allah not provided us with eyes so we shall SEE THE TRUTH, has He not provided us with ears so we shall HEAR THE TRUTH and has He not provided us with hearts so we shall FEEL THE TRUTH?

Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them, so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient. (57:16)

subhanAllah, no better, no greater words than His.. so I ask myself before anyone else... can I really wait? Is waiting even an option here? If so, until when? Until the hearts hardens? Time is not ours so how can we afford this expense?

Know that Allah gives life to the earth after its lifelessness. We have made clear to you the signs; perhaps you will understand. (57:17)

subhanAllah... how merciful is He. He gives us hope.. if we no longer wait, we can unlock our hearts by repenting, insyaAllah.. don't ever lose hope in the mercy of Allah, if we're really done with waiting and actually want to come to the truth...

And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good. (29:69)

subhanAllah! :') waiting is not in question here, it is a matter of wanting. so replace your I with a N and ask and be sure that He will give it to those who sincerely want it. and He is the All Knowing. subhanAllah..

may Allah forgive me for any wrong intentions of this post and all that erred are due to my flaws and all that are good are of nothing mine to claim but Allah. and as always and should be, speaking to myself before anyone else. Salam.

we are not the writer, we are the characters.

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahiwabarakatuh,

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

i've been having some of what a hard time trying to get this post written, but i hope this won't come out forced or mandatory but i just feel like writing some words for the past 3 months. hmmm... well yeah, that's the problem, i don't know how to start. maybe... i will just... say...

alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah for everything that has transpired throughout the past 3 months, whatever good, whatever bad, that had been decreed upon me and I just would like to say that it has been the best summer yet. I have discovered some of my strengths that did not come without acknowledging my weaknesses. Some of which I am aware of, others that I might not be. the pieces on the road ahead i anticipate to be some sweet, some sour, some tasteless, some bitter, some spicy, i don't know whatever else may come, i hope to always find the strength to endure them by remembering my true purpose first and foremost as His slave and insyaAllah, everything else that comes within the territory. and as always heavy hearted to leave home but insyaAllah will take comfort in the trust that I shall place upon Allah to take care of those I'm leaving. and hope to come back with... something... someone better, to put it simply. I'll say it again... this summer has been some of what the best gifts that He has ever given me. subhanAllah, alhamdulillah.

I have to say thank you, jazakamullahu khair to those who has been a part of my beautiful summer and most importantly, the lessons and memories that I managed to gain from all of you, subhanAllah, there is certainly no price for them. and of course, sorry to those I have not spent enough time with, I don't know what else to say but insyaAllah if He wills, then He wills, in the future, who knows? I believe completely that whatever has happened is written as the best for each and everyone of us, so there should no be what ifs. as that would also lead to whispers of syaitan. nauzubillah. so everything else aside, i hope to be able to find the strength to not be neither sad nor afraid. falaa khawfun alaihim walaa hum yahzanuun :) insyaAllah.

subhanAllah, incredible. if i just remember some of the things that has had happened... it's not one of those "felt like yesterday" moments because i recall so many things that has happened, they really did take place within 3 months hehe. not to say that all were good, but life is all about ups and downs, as cliche as it sounds, but we really need to be reminded of what matters most all the time, true? anyway, when theory translates into pratice is when real life begins ;)

all that are good are of nothing of mine to claim but Allah, and others that are not good are derived from my own inadequacies, insyaAllah. and where ever it is that we go, doesn't really matter, because what is more important, is the lessons that we are able to take and keep from the place and use them towards building us up as whoever we want to be and ultimately remembering our true purpose; 2:30, 51:56. read and reflect, speaking to myself before anyone else as the weakest of His slaves.