perspective of the prospective

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb, 

alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds, ar Rahman ar Raheem. we seek forgiveness of our and our parents' sins. and greetings upon Rasulullah SAW. 

it has been quite some time since i got back, and initially it felt like a belated summer holiday. but progressively, i am gradually trying to come into terms with the transition from being a student to, i guess the next stage of adult life, that may contain a lot of different, new things ranging from personal to professional... stuff. 

there is a bit of a struggle, for many of us presumably, to follow through with this transition. maybe some or a lot of withdrawal symptoms. we have been studying and going to school for most of our lives, and now it has come to an end, of course we are going to encounter some form of bump. and the fact that we have to jump onto a completely different stage, the working life, and a lot more responsibilities that entails, is most definitely not easy (it varies among different personalities). yes it's going to be weird, new, terrifying, exciting... but it is pretty inevitable, we know that right?

and it's weird maybe that I am writing as if I have been there already, or has been in the next stage for a while, and knowing what it would feel like and whatnot. i don't claim that at all, but what I am trying to carry through is some sort of mindsetting for myself especially, and if it is relevant for some of you then maybe including you. it's so important that we prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually entering into this new phase, just so we come into it somewhat positively, knowing what and why and how we are going into this big change. you know?

it was a deal you know? remember? study for a few years, do what we gotta do, pass our exams, and then come back to give back after being given? we are investment(s), and of course we want to be good investments and ones those are, are those which give good returns.   we should also remind ourselves to refresh our intentions. what good returns do we want to become? just a financial means? or way beyond that?

wherever we are in life (both literally and metaphorically)... we must remember that the reason why we are where we are is because Allah put us there. He decides for us to be where, so we must convince ourselves that His decisions are the best and indisputable and completely flawless. even when we cannot see the good, His wisdom is best. when we successfully internalize this, we would have less trouble of settling down and our main concern would be... heh it's funny now, bringing my point here is that wherever we are, our purpose of life, or main concern in life... will never change... back when we were students, it was the same thing... to serve Allah.. and guess what now we no longer are, we are still here to serve Allah. He is just sending and giving us different medium to explore, to gain more knowledge and to give us what we need, rather than what we want :') :'D ahhh how beautiful is He. 

personally, and maybe for some of you as well, i miss it already, the student life. but that's OK. it doesn't mean that i'm rebelling against where i am right now. my experiences for the past 4 years held a lot of great and not so great memories that really shaped who I am today, and it is OK to hold onto them. but at the same time, i need to get my head on the road ahead, whilst it is ok to look back sometimes. I pray that He guides me and strengthens me to improve myself, to be more thankful to Him, to seek more forgiveness from Him to continue on this journey and make the best out of where He wants me to be, as long as He is pleased with me. 

i don't imagine it's going to be easy, and that i am not going to complain or anything, i can't promise... all I know is that i have to get my intention right first and foremost. and when that one is right... when it is for Allah... He will drive us and what is left after the effort is to trust Him, and who is more trustworthy than Lord of all the Worlds? :') :') :')

take comfort that wherever we will go (metaphorically), it won't be in vain when we really internalize that Allah's plans for us are best and it's not about being easy, rather we should seek Allah more to give us strength to carry on with whatever in store for us. and do remember that throughout the things we don't like in life.. will come the things that we do like! insyaAllah :D it is also training us to be more patient hopefully aameen. 

astaghfirullahx3... may Allah protect me from wrong intentions, may He accept this from me, may He grant us guidance and strength for this next stage and become more submissive to Him alone aameen. 

pls forgive me for any err i may have caused you and may Allah grant us barakah on this holy day aameen!

p.s. don't forget to read surah al-Kahf today ;) Friday it's Friday... AIF.. alhamdulillah it's Friday! 

wassalam.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not (al Baqarah:216)

welcome to the world

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah, wa Allahuakhbar wa Astaghfirullah... all praises and thanks belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem, al Ghafur al Wadud.. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW...

guyyyyyysssssssssssss... my bro is a dad!!!! sooo my sister and I are officially aunties!! my dad is a granddad! me mom is a grandmaaaa... and my grandma is a greatgrandma!!! ni laki is like a dato! (not sure what baby will address nini!) hehehe :D i'm so ecstatic to meet the little one, insyaAllah... hehehehe... ahmad saif rafi'ie :'D

Allah is so amazing you know.. i just can't help but think like.. wow... subhanAllah, such a perfect form came out like... wow... Allah is so perfect... Allah is sooooo Great... baby saif is an ayat.. hehehe :'D like seriouslyyyy baby ani ehhhh buat aku speechless bah. Allahuakhbar :')

i don't really know what else to say... other than i'm becoming obsessed with the baby, even across continents! hahahahaha. i can't wait to hold him and smell his baby smellin goodness.... insyaAllah. yaaaaays. can't wait til this is over, by this i meant masters... in the process of tying things up together, by that i mean dissertation... insyaAllah will submit soonnnn... doakan yaaaa... 

this is pretty overdue btw.. my baby i mean my bro's baby is almost a week old hehehehe... but doesn't matter... he will be big news to us for as long as ever insyaAllah... sayangku saif :') in love... so in love...

may Allah bless you little one, may Allah bless us through you, may Allah make you qurratua'yun to us all ameen...

sigh... alhamdulillah...

2As

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem...greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW...

as promised, this is the last of the iRamadan series at least this year hehe insyaAllah. anyway so how's Ramadan been for all of you? it's been going by pretty quickly eh, may Allah guide us to accomplish mission taqwa ameen :D

as we are approaching its end, insyaAllah, we should try to evaluate our progress, and reflect upon our ups and downs thus far, and really be honest with ourselves who do we want to be as Ramadan leaves us and Syawal welcomes us. and I know for myself, it's definitely hard to keep the version of you in Ramadan, as in the other 11 months.

not long ago, i asked for some advice on how to keep firm and steadfast in this deen.. and this wise man (whom we met randomly at a park during our picnic last July! subhanAllah!) said to engage in two things.. which are astaghfirullah and alhamdulillah. 2As. (may Allah reward him with an abundance of good and have mercy on him and his family and give them all jannatul firdaus ameen, he was an amazing man subhanAllah.)

 life is not infinite, and we really don't know what is ahead of us, yet we keep ourselves occupied with things that are as if life is infinite and not be bothered about what we are going to proceed in the next life. it's really simple advice and pretty practical as well... the next time we complain about something, remember that however 'unfortunate' your situation is, gratefulness to Allah is ALWAYS due. 

 and I really speak to myself before anyone else, but we really gotta tone down the complaining and start focusing on what we have. Allah really knows best what we are capable and have we ever not wondered that the reason why we don't have the things that we oh so desire is because Allah knows we are not capable to own them? the more that we have, the more that we need to answer on the Day of Judgment.. so what is it really that we're complaining about? 

and yeah come what may, highly likely we're going to fall somewhere along the lines in this journey and that's OK. always remember to keep begging for forgiveness and be thankful at everything that Allah has given us and NOT given us... we will find and gather the strength to pick ourselves up to carry forward until.. hopefully... jannah ;) may Allah grant us with our loved ones jannatul firdaus ameen. 

may Allah forgive all our sins, purify our intentions, accept all our good deeds in this blessed month, may Allah give us more opportunities to meet Ramadan in the future, may Allah increase us in beneficial knowledge and good character, may Allah grant us taqwa from Ramadan and the time ahead to come, may Allah have mercy on our parents and families, may Allah guide us all to the straight path til the end, may Allah resurrect us with the prophets and righteous ones ameen. 

please forgive me for anything i have done to err you, in any way shape or form.. please make doa for me and my family, may Allah protect me from evil intentions and may He accept this from me ameen. 

wassalam

just give it

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah, Lord of all the worlds, ar Rahman ar Raheem.. may Allah forgive our sins, and greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW. 

how's your Ramadan been going? may Allah make ease in all our efforts and accept them in trying this month ameen. 

this month is really about training ourselves, not only from the physical aspect of food and drinks, but rather some restraint of the nafs. we are more likely to take than give, just because maybe taking gives out more pleasure. but hang on a sec, let's ponder a bit about this give and take business. 

i'm going to narrow this discussion down and take money as an example. many of us had been tested with money before, either with an abundance or a lack of it. but you know what, either way, haven't we found ourselves complaining about having not enough, and could be having more? Yep, insatiable. Astaghfirullah. We should always be grateful at what we have, and don't compare your blessings with others, no one but Allah decides who gets how much and the other gets what, we should just look at our plate and thank Him, cause it's when we look at another plate which maybe has more, will we tend to feel ungrateful. may Allah protect us from ingratitude ameen.

but anyway somehow we all love keeping money. sure money is great... it makes life a lot easier. and at every opportunity to get some, we will take with little hesitation but when the moment requires us to give... we think twice. 

subhanAllah, don't we realize that all the money that we have is from Allah SWT, nothing is from us, really... and to be honest, we don't even really own any of it, it's all Allah's, His mercy and love to shower us with such rezeki... and we have to reciprocate with gratitude, which is to spend money for the sake of Allah, in the path of Allah. it is certainly not wrong to buy things for ourselves and stuff, no but what I want to remind ourselves is that we need to also give to the needy, and just generally practise giving. 

this helps us to detach ourselves from money, helps to keep control with our relationship with money, so that the love for money doesn't affect our heart. and also realize that money isn't to be kept, what good is there to keep so much money, not one cent is going to benefit us in the grave or the Hereafter. and also know that spending money for the sake of Allah always benefits us, maybe we see a decreasing bank balance when we spend it on others, but know that we also have an akhirat balance, that when we spend for Allah's sake, oh only Allah knows how much cash just got in! subhanAllah, may Allah reward all our good with plentiful of good in the Hereafter ameen.

and have we ever thought that the reason why Allah gave us in the first place is just so we could give back, to earn His pleasure and make it easy for us to earn jannah points?? bonus! ehehe Allah is the Kindest! 

so let's practise giving this month, and insyaAllah keep firm and steadfast for the rest of the year, and remember to give for Allah's sake has no other outcome but profit :) 

And why do you not spend in the cause of Allah while to Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth? (al-Hadid:10)

Who is it that would loan Allah a goodly loan so He will multiply it for him and he will have a noble reward? (al-Hadid:11)

a reminder for myself first and foremost, and please forgive me if I have said anything wrong, and may Allah protect me from misguided intentions, and may Allah accept this effort from me, and blesses my family with a lot of good ameen. may Allah guide our hearts to give for His sake ameen. 

book or miracle?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most High Most Wise.. may He forgive all our sins and guide us to sincere repentance ameen.. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW..

i hope your Ramadan is going well, and your plan is going smoothly insyaAllah.

a lot of us tend to associate Ramadan with fasting, and of course that is a given. but I hope we don't overlook also at another reason why Ramadan is so special, is that it was in this month that the Quran was sent down.

"The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey - then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful." (al-Baqarah:185)

and what better time than now would it be to revive or increase our intimacy with the Quran? so how's our relationship with the Quran these days?

truth be told... if we really believe that the Quran is our guidance, our manual for life... we would always have it by our side. we would know what is being said and remember the content. it wouldn't have to take a religious occasion for us to touch it... or open it. it would be our daily speech because it is constantly in our hearts and minds. we would make reading it everyday as a priority. 

but sadly, this may not always be the case. maybe i used to think that reading the Quran everyday, especially when there is no 'religious' occasion is weird, and that people carrying the Quran around everywhere they go are somewhat 'religious'... but how am I going to proceed with life without knowing and understanding the proper guidance? trust me, I have gone with life doing so, and it was shallow and empty.

why did I choose that life a while ago? because i used to see the Quran as only a book... well it is a book... what separates it from other books? it is a book if we leave it on the shelf... just like any other... but come to think of it, sometimes we allow ourselves to be affected by romance novels, stories of wizards and magic, etc, how much of a travesty is that? astaghfirullahalazim.. 

but you see the Quran is a miracle... when we place it in our hearts. if you don't believe me, why don't you try moving it from the shelf to your heart? ;) 

so how? read it... not just the Arabic, since many of us don't understand Arabic, it is essential that we have the Quran with translation, so that we can read and understand with our hearts and that is how we will find the true meaning of life, and solace... spending time with Allah through the Quran. 

and don't worry, if we find ourselves struggling with reading it, Allah always values us for our efforts rather than the results... here's some more motivation... 

The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have TWICE that reward.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

all good is from Allah completely, and all that is flawed is from my own inadequacies, please do forgive me and make doa that Allah accepts this from me and rewards my family with abundance of good and may this Ramadan be our best one yet that will increase our ranks in the Hereafter and may Allah guide us to strengthen our relationship with Him through the Quran ameen.

wassalam

the blessings of here and now

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, al Ghafur al Wadud.. may He bestow His mercy upon us all and forgive all our sins, ameen. peace and blessings upon Rasulullah SAW. 

ahlan wa sahlan, ya Ramadan. 

I would just like to note that I have commited myself to writing somewhat of a reminder every week for this whole month, kind of like a Ramadan series, iRamadan :D, with the intention to do what I can in terms of doing more, so please make doa that Allah makes it easy and accepts it from me. 

we must give all thanks and praise to Allah SWT for only because of His mercy, you and I are still able to experience this holy month. we should never take for granted of this opportunity because whether we realize it or not, some people didn't get to this month... Allah knows best and His plans are certainly without a doubt the most perfect, but we must embrace the gratitude towards Him, at how we are... here. Alhamdulillah. 

so now the question is where are we going to go from here? when someone gives you a piece of chicken in your dire state of hunger, what will you do? you thank him and then what? of course we're going to eat it too. it'd be silly to thank him and then not eat it. so now in our dire need for an upgrade in our iman and amal, Allah has given us Ramadan, thank Him and then what? of course we must do something to show our thanks, and reap the rewards to please Him. now isn't that showing true gratitude, and with love for our Rabb. Allah chose you, and me, to experience Ramadan again... feel His love, He has manifested so much love and mercy in ourselves and we don't even notice, astaghfirullah...

let us begin now... slowly but surely. don't burn ourselves out, we must prepare also for the last 10 days. but main point is we must really show Allah that we are prepared to make this our best Ramadan yet and continue to hope for His love and mercy to carry us through with ease despite the difficulties and struggle we may endure. let us remember that Ramadan is not merely about the restraint of food and drinks. it's about a lot more, did we forget that it was the month of Ramadan that Allah sent us the biggest miracle which we know as the Quran? subhanAllah, what better time to be close to the Quran if not now? read the Quran, ponder over it. Allah constantly calls out to those who believe, be those who believe! don't we want to be in such honor, where Allah is addressing us as 'O You who believe'?

even if we are doing little but if we are already doing more than the last Ramadan, perhaps that is a good indication. take care of our fardh, increase our sunat, revive the sunnah. 

life as a lot of us notice is going by really fast, almost like a blink of an eye... and we just cannot afford to be frozen in motion as time passes us by so quickly we don't even know when time will say goodbye. Ramadan is here, and we are here, alhamdulillah.. so please let us embrace the moment and start the race... not with each other but against our nafs. 

astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah, astaghfirullah. may Allah guide us to make this our best Ramadan yet, may Allah help us to increase our amal for the sake of His pleasure, may Allah purify our hearts and restrain us from things that would distance us from Him, may Allah guide us to seek Him constantly both in ease and hardship.. may all that we do lead us steps closer to jannatul firdaus ameen.

if we want a makeover, do it now... while we are still here. insyaAllah, hope to write again next week, please make doa that Allah blesses our effort, and be pleased with us and our families ameen. 

and please forgive me for all the mistakes i have made, may Allah forgive us all ameen. 

wassalam

what is the bigger picture?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, al Ghafur al Wadud, astaghfirullah.. and greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW. 

you know how many times we have heard people say "you know i wanna be a good, better person... but... it's just I don't know..." better yet how many times have we heard ourselves say the same thing? i get it, you know, it's hard... mostly because we know we need to be better, knowing that what we are just not good enough, that's what is especially hard isn't it... knowing that we have to do or change something yet we find ourselves stagnant. 

something that has come to my attention whilst I was doing some reading for dissertation, which has nothing to do with you know islam or the deen at least not directly, but subhanAllah..i found the message to be quite staggering so let me share it please.

A state's first priority will define its essence... for more than 50 years the Japanese state has given its first priority to economic development. Some of the Japanese state's priorities for economic development, such as the imperialism of the Pacific War, were disastrous, but that does not alter the fact that its priorities have been consistent (Johnson 1982:305-6)

what came into mind was that... the reason why Japan grew tremendously well at that period (of course by the will of Allah first n foremost) was because that was the state's priority.. and no matter some failures they might have endured, didn't change their priorities... n it got me thinking further about life in general, and for instance... why have we passed our exams is because we have made it a priority to pass so we attend classes, revise til late hours, etc, etc... basically by making something as a priority, we have not only identified its importance but also the need or urgency for us to achieve it. so we make that effort and then the results obviously Allah gives.

so... why do we find ourselves so stagnant in bettering ourselves? simply because we haven't made it as a priority! astaghfirullah... we know we want to, we know we need to... but somehow we haven't made it as a priority... think about it... think about half the things in your life... your achievements, big and small... we have made it a priority to be in University so here we are in University.. or else, let's face it, we wouldn't be. we wouldn't make it a point to spend time with our family and friends if we do not see them as priority, as something that is worth of our time. 

i'll provide a somewhat of a parallel example. you and an old friend, whom you have sort of lost contact... but you kinda want to reconnect... because you know old memories, and just because she's an old friend... but then you find that even though both parties have always said about wanting to meet up and finally catch up... it never actually happens... because we haven't made it a priority to see her... getting the point here? 

what i want to convey is that... the road to becoming a better person, being more committed and devoted to the deen, and a better slave of Allah... may not be easy, as our surroundings are filled with temptations and various kinds of lusts. we want to change so badly but maybe the environment is so toxic. and obviously syaitan's always whispering evils... always crushing our intentions of wanting to go on the straight path... may Allah protect us from all evils ameen... but you see.. if we make it a priority.. if only we really instill the need and urgency to commit to become someone better in the eyes of Allah.. He's only going to guide you onto a path that is extremely rewarding insyaAllah.

And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allah is with the doers of good (al-ankabut:69)

and going back to the early extract about Japan and their priorities, and how they failed on certain agendas too.. shows that yes we may also hit some roadbumps along the way of trying to become better but doesn't mean our priorities have to change that way, right? just keep consistent and make sure we are always on the path of trying insyaAllah.

Sya'ban is here and Ramadan is approaching insyaAllah... make doa that Allah gives us the opportunities and blessings of Ramadan to become close to Him... make the intention... we must know that despite the difficulties we may face... Allah always intends ease for His slaves... tell me we are not going to stand to simply wait to become someone better, and that we are going to try harder instead. whatever it means to become someone better in Allah's eyes, everyone has different struggles, maybe it's about improving our solat, our relationship with the Quran, our conduct with people, our mannerism and the kind of language that we speak, whatever it is... Allah knows. 

as for I... I am aware of my incompetence... but i know that it shouldn't stop me from trying to call others to good. isn't that what Allah demands from His slaves? as it shouldn't you, too... stop thinking excessively about what others may think, and start thinking about how Allah sees us.

By time,

Indeed, mankind is in loss,

Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience.

(al-asr:1-3)

so yes my dearest brothers and sisters... let us make it a priority to please Allah. make Him your first priority. once we do that... ahhh... I can't even say but definitely there will be ease and definitely life-changing, insyaAllah. trust Allah.

may Allah accept this from me, may He protect me from any evil intentions of this reminder (which is definitely first and foremost for myself), may He always guide us to things that bring us closer to Him, and away from things that distance us from Him. please make doa for me and my family.. and i pray that Allah guides us and our families to the straight path til the end ameen. 

alhamdulillah wa astaghfirullah. all good is completely from Allah SWT. all errors are due to my incompetence. please forgive me if i erred you here or elsewhere :)

wassalam.

a means to get to an end

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, al Ghafur al Wadud.. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW.

i'm definitely not one who qualifies to talk about love. but somehow somewhat this topic has been up in the air for sooooo many of us, it's that age they say, hardyharhar. 

i guess love isn't about a man in a shining armor. it's probably not about his handsome and dashing style either. it maybe isn't the way he looks into your eyes too (um hello LYG?! as in lower. your. gaze! except if he was your husband!). there are a lot of things the fantasy world built up on what love is but really, it aint all of that. and we're all growing up to realize so. 

there are a lot of things that i don't know about love. and as much others think that falling in love many times have taught them about love, until we discover that love is not an end, rather a means... we may have a longer road to travel. 

i know very little. but oh well... here's to what i think love is... to love someone only because... he's led you to love the One Above more... the one who despite your flaws teaches you to have hope on the Most Merciful... the one who will raise our child in His path only to increase our ranks in His sight in the Hereafter... the one who will remind you away from your distractions and show you how to get to our ultimate destination... the one whose presence, wisdom, knowledge, love, character and heart only makes you feel closer to al Wadud... the source of all love ;') 

and don't fool ourselves into thinking that we are going to get this love before or outside marriage... no matter how much we think that beauty, intellect and whatsoever else shall take us to a little thing called love... have we forgotten that Allah says...

"(Lazimnya) perempuan-perempuan yang jahat adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang jahat, dan lelaki-lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan-perempuan yang jahat; dan (sebaliknya) perempuan-perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik, dan lelaki-lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan-perempuan yang baik. Mereka (yang baik) itu adalah bersih dari (tuduhan buruk) yang dikatakan oleh orang-orang (yang jahat); mereka (yang baik) itu akan beroleh pengampunan (dari Allah) dan pengurniaan yang mulia." (an Nur:26)

to fall in love with someone only to fall in love with You more, is the end. insyaAllah wa biiznillah...

astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah..

wassalam

different kind of summer approaching

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem, al Ghafur al Wadud. greetings and salutations upon our beloved Prophet SAW. 

hehehe... it's been a long time since the last post... i do miss writing... but for now, i'm just going to have to ramble about anything ;) hehehe i am quite the ranting kind of person if you haven't already noticed. 

so... this year's summer will be different... or is already different... usually i would already be counting the days to home. but no, perhaps it's better for my iman to stay during the summer... Allah knows best. currently struggling with dissertation because I keep changing my mind, unsure of what to focus on, I am so tied down to wanting to do something that is practical but i just don't quite know what. there are so many ideas but which ones to focus on? i suddenly thought about the financial crisis and how beyond the economics and politics and technicalities of risk that nobody really saw coming, essentially I believe that it was because of dishonesty and greed. disasters happen because we tend to make bad decisions. i know it sounds so simple and i don't think i can write this as a thesis because it sounds like a sweeping statement? and i haven't found literature that can back this argument up too.

but then again also, I am quite keen on development politics. the struggle for developing countries on catching up with globalization but at the same time, with some irony, globalization is pushing them backwards. yeah... but then again that's too broad! o Allah, please guide me to write about something that You want me to write about! 

ok enough about dissertation worries... hmmm... something else that also has been occupying my mind is about leaving the UK for good very soon. of course this deal was temporary, no body said we could stay as long as we liked. i guess it's just... sentimental you know. i was very young and naive and somewhat a different person coming here... and i would like to think that going back... i have somewhat matured, grown, and a different yet the same person... i must have lost a few things along the way but the people... the lessons... the... I have gained, are certainly Allah's way of replacing such losses... and when Allah replaces our lives with something, it's definitely for the better and is the best. 

i think i'd like to save this post for another time... but I think the best thing about the past 4 years... is falling in love with You, my Rabb... hehehe. no... I take that back actually... I don't think.. I know the best thing about the past 4 years is falling in love with Allah :'))) 


anyway i somehow foresee more writings about this different summer... maybe.. perhaps.. hehe.

may Allah forgive all our sins and errors ameen.

wassalam

the divine speech course

assalamualaikum wrb

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most Glorified, Most worthy of praise and thanks, Most Merciful. 

(i started writing this at the end of 2011, but now it's 2012 hehe.. subhanAllah.. how time really flies.. may Allah bless our time in the dunia for the best in Akhirat ameen)

:D :D :D i went to the divine speech course by Nouman Ali Khan, so there's no way i'm not going to write about it! hah. one of the best weekends to date. one of the best holidays spent ever. alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.. grateful that Allah allowed me to experience such a mind blowing take on the Quran, sometimes I just didn't know what to feel, the level of awesomeness of it all, to be able to taste a bit of understanding Arabic and how Allah chooses certain words over another... was just crazy overwhelming and something the heart just cannot contain. every moment was almost you feeling like burying your head and thinking subhanAllah how did I not learn about this waaaay earlier. it was amazing, super amazing and duper amazing. and i only ask that the whole experience brings me closer to Him ameen ameen ameen. 

i'll share some gems of the weekend later on, i just have to say that nouman ali khan. is like the coolest guy. he's so cool. i say this about mufti menk; i think he is the coolest scholar. i think that remains, you guys should check him out. but nouman ali khan is just another cool guy. islam really makes them cool. cause our teacher, Rasulullah SAW was the coolest man <3. anyway. yeah nouman ali khan is just so good at what he does. the weekend was so amazing. he was just an icing on the cake, so gooooood. by the mercy of Allah. this guy just..gets it. to a tee! by the mercy of Allah. he's so relevant and really knows how to engage with the audience. and it's just surreal to watch him in person, if he's amazing on video, he's 5x more amazing in person. he was the most hilarious i've ever seen/heard him in person. he had us in stitches almost the whole weekend. brilliant and greatly inspiring, can you imagine that this guy during some point of his life didn't even pray regularly... and where is he now? being a student of the Quran himself and teaching it across the states. subhanAllah. it could be OUR story too, really, with our own different versions but the point is that we can make that turn too. insyaAllah. may Allah grant him sincerity in his speech and action, may Allah strengthen him in his work for the deen, may Allah bless him and his families dunia wa Akhirat, grant them His love and pleasure and make us all people of Jannah ameen ameen ameen. 

although he's pretty bad in british accents. ha ha ha. but excellent in texan! "you from izlam, boiiiii" lolz (ok that can't be explained)

ok so this is what i would like to share but maybe this doesn't really depict a lot of what we did in essence throughout the whole weekend, it's kind of more like a reflection but still it's one of my favourites if not the, and whatever it is, i would just like to share it, and definitely i must say, doesn't do justice to its beauty but if we are able to appreciate even if a bit.. may Allah help us to benefit from it and become closer to Him ultimately... 

"Then your hearts hardened after that, so that they were like rocks, rather worse in hardness; and surely there are some rocks from which streams burst forth, and surely there are some of them which split asunder so water issues out of them, and surely there are some of them which fall down for fear of Allah, and Allah is not at all heedless of what you do." 

(al-baqarah:74)

what a beautiful ayat... flawless... this ayat illustrates how Allah uses examples. cause you know how when we're trying to explain something, it's a lot better to use examples it helps us to understand better. and that the audience are able to relate to it. So, here, Allah compares hearts to rocks, hardness of hearts like rocks, or harder (in the above ayat) and He proceeds to describe three types of rocks... but really, He is talking about three types of hearts.

1. it bursts open and water comes out (like riverfall)

2. among the rocks, there are ones which crack open due to force hit them from the outside and when they do, you discover there's water found inside

(first one has more water inside than the second)

3. out of them all, there are ones which fall from the fear of Allah (rocks tumbling down) - no mention of water here

what we can take away from this is that people have different characteristics and different 'pulls'... some people are attracted to knowledge and they're easily moved by that.. they hear something that increases their knowledge and immediately it increases their faith.. but some people may be different. they are not easily moved by lectures on the deen, and the academic details etc. maybe those things are lullaby for them. some people need to be rattled, shaken by something that wakes up the heart. 

an interesting parallel with the sahabah... abu bakar RA and umar RA... 

how did they come to islam? which one do you think is which? :) 

abu bakar has been thinking about it all this while; immediately embraced islam, took the syahadah. some rocks open on their own. 

umar came to it not as a direct result of the dakwah of Rasulullah SAW or anyone, it took him about 6 years before he came to it. as a matter of fact, it was a series of traumatic experiences in one of which he discovered that his own sister embraced islam and until he hit her to a point she bled... and then.. crack.. force from outside cracks rock. water. inside. subhanAllah :') took a little bit of work, but eventually it came out :)

water symbolizes faith... purity.. faith inside the heart, water inside the rock.

and then a rock without water. we often struggle with ourselves, sometimes we find that we have 'no water', and it eats us up. for those who are obeying Allah but have not tasted the sweetness of iman... it can be demotivating and sometimes you just don't know how to go on and you feel like you're the only one. but no. this is something that everyone has to stuggle with. Just, still fall from the fear of Allah. we just gotta keep trying.. and be patient.. regardless we get it or not, we should just fall like the rocks, upon the fear of Allah, eventually they will maybe crack and find water inside. but it just takes time. some quicker than others. but probably also longer than usual. but it's okay. it will come, insyaAllah.. the water will come insyaAllah.. we just need to keep trying hard enough.. the iman is from Allah,like everything else. it is a gift from Allah, we will feel it when Allah gives it to us.  and Allah will give it to us, when and if He wills it. for us? we should just fall down on sajdah for the fear of Allah. subhanAllah... Allahuakhbar... :') 

isn't that beautiful? the parallel between hearts and rocks, the subtle way of comparison, almost.. at least for me.. is just perfect beyond words. suddenly the struggle becomes... light. and the speech of Allah, does so. in the most profound and beautiful way. seriously. and just think, that, if we don't make an effort in exploring the Quran, would the impact be as strong? how perfect Allah's Book is.. and so many people claim to read it everyday.. but we should ask ourselves have we appreciated it as a miracle? because it is... it just blows you over completely and leave you to think what this is so powerful, this is just crazy powerful.. this is just the truth. 

the Quran is a miracle,if we take it to our hearts... it is a book if it remains on the shelves. so let's ask ourselves again... how much have we done to understand and appreciate Allah's Book? 

and really, Allah's speech is The Best. no contest. no debate. just sheer and utter and absolute perfection.

(it's very difficult to share the essence of what we learned in a blog post, most of it was about the beauty of the Arabic language and how the course was supposed to entice us into becoming a student of Arabic in order to appreciate more in depth of the Quran. and certainly the examples that we went through really showed the precision in Allah's speech and how they are just so perfect and that just transforms our perspectives and views completely. so i'm sorry that i didn't get to reflect that here, but maybe I will share some in the future hehehe insyaAllah) 

may Allah open the doors for us all to learn and understand His Book, may Allah guide us into learning and understanding the Quran with our hearts and implementing the divine guidance and  divine knowledge into our lives in order to be closer to Him, may Allah help us to teach others the Quran and be able to spread the truth, may Allah strengthen us into building ourselves as the Quran generation and for our future generations too, may Allah guide us into engaging in useful activities in this life for the next and away from useless activities in this life against the next. ameen. 

subhanakallahumma wabihamdika astaghfiruka wa atubu ilaik.

wassalam