oh ibu.. engkaulah ratu hatiku.

ya Allah..

ampunkanlah dosa-dosa ibuku..
cucurilah rahmatMu padanya dikubur..
jauhkanlah dia dari azab-azab pedih dan neraka jahanam..
dekatkanlah ibuku ke syurgaMu..
tempatkanlah ibuku bersama golongan orang yang beriman di akhirat nanti..

Amin..

let me keep my thoughts of pain and love and be them reminders for me. 18 years yet i know for many more to come, i can't ever erase this special place in my heart I have harbored for you. i shall remember you. syukran Allah for enabling me to say my prayers for my mother. and i can only ask that You enable me to continue to do so and insyaAllah grant my prayers for my mother. and, I miss you so dearly :') for the shortest time you took care of me, you remain the most incredible woman to me. i can't ever repay you for the gift you have given me, but insyaAllah i pray Allah rewards you with Jannah. Amin.

the non-existence of our loved ones only make our existence in this world much more valuable. think about it. you are still able to ask for Allah's forgiveness.. they can't.. so dare we have the audacity to not seek Allah when He has given will to do so? ya Allah.. forgive us for our weaknesses and may You continue to guide us onto the most righteous path. Amin.

Al-Fatihah.

BRISOC's Islamic Awareness Week

hair low guys.

I just wanted to drop by to talk briefly about the islamic awareness week we had here in Bristol over the past week. I was writing a detailed review of the event but I realize I don't have much time in going over every talk although I want to because they're all too good to leave out, but I guess I will do so another time. For now, I'll just share some of my thoughts... as usual.

It was truly an amazing event - in the sense where it was an open door of knowledge for both Muslims and non-Muslims. It was vital for non-Muslims particularly to access TRUE concepts about Islam instead of 'learning' it from the media *WHISTLE* But it was as essential for me to make use of the events because obviously whilst I'm still learning, it helped me to connect some veins that were disconnected. It was 'Discover Islam' week and to be frank, there are so many levels that even Muslims haven't discovered and the event was certainly a platform to do so.

The talks offered interesting topics but essentially shared a lot of grounds i.e. purpose, God's indisputable existence, etc. I enjoyed most of them too especially question and answer sessions. And you get to hear classical questions as well as well thought out ones nonetheless being able to hear several takes on the subject is sufficiently refreshing. Some speakers were inevitably more enjoyable than others to me but they all had different strengths in terms of style really. Adam Deen presented his counter argument to Richard Dawkins' the God Delusion which was relatively more scientific than others. It was really good actually although felt slightly lost during some points only because I contain limited knowledge about what he was saying. His responses were well articulated and I thought he was pretty impressive overall. Just pointing out to a slight turn off though in one of the talks, the speaker was more than slightly politically geared (hint guy running for Parliament) and sort of left some people confused with what he was really trying to convey and he was aggressive too and of which both factors made my face feel hot with tension. *insert inability to adapt to awkward situations*. Then there was the multifaith panel they had; islam, Christianity and judaism. That was great you know incorporating other religions into the event so people can compare and see what they're like, etc. But personally I thought it would have been nicer if they had a panel for atheism (which is ironically no faith to be included in a multifaith panel), or something other than Christianity or Judaism i.e. Hinduism, Buddhism of which I find to be pretty inaccessible so that would have been more interesting I think. The finale in particular was amazing. It really was icing on the cake, with cherry on top. If you guys get a chance to attend a talk by Hamza Andreas Tzortzis, do make some time because the guy's breadth of knowledge is astounding. He was incredibly engaging- loved his style, his presentation, his interaction with the audience; it was light and casual yet respectable. RECOGNISE

It is quite sad that it's over because I was really getting used to listening to the talks and having constant reminders to such a forgetful mind like mine was a treat. Alhamdulillah. What struck me at every talk I attended was how amazing it felt to be a believer. I sat there and I listened to their arguments of which I was nodding along to, because I was already convinced and then I thought a lot of other people particularly non-Muslims must certainly challenge some concepts in their minds. I don't know if you guys are getting my point but it just felt so much of a blessing you know, that Allah almost intrinsically, if I can say that, granted me with such faith. Although it was shaky and imperfect, even today, I can't deny so but it was still a blessing that He granted me an environment or a background that accentuated a life towards pleasing Him. So much so that I need not question Him to such degrees that non-Muslims probably would. But you know Allah has plans for everyone, but bottom line is it was just a realization of another one of His infinite blessings so syukur Alhamdulillah.

conclusively, i just pray that i would be able to apply what i learnt towards improving my submission to Allah, insyaAllah.. as they said IAS has ended but our journey continues. I know, that was slightly a tacky goodbye send off message but it's extremely true so you know. okay wow, so much for brief eh?

Salam

Why has God created problems for us?

I know this is quite a famous question; one that we might have asked ourselves or out loud. I find this question to reflect quite a shallow concept of Allah to be honest although it is still interesting to talk about. So yes, why is this world so difficult to live in with all sorts of problem that we go through? One might say if God is really there, then why are there so much pain and hardship in this world? Classic question. Why didn't He just make us all agents of peace and obeyed His commands flawlessly and thus achieve a life of happily ever after?

First and foremost, let me just be clear when I say behind everything and anything that happens.. there is indeed a reason. The reason(s) might be beyond our comprehension, but they're reasons nonetheless. Most importantly, let us ingrain the fact that only Allah knows about everything and His decrees are much too brilliant that most times we can't figure out why something happens. So, as much as I want to be eloquent in an attempt to refute this 'why has God created so many problems for us' question, ultimately the best response would be 'Allah Maha Mengetahui' and we simply do not deserve to question Him. But allow me to share my thoughts anyway.

The fact that we live in a difficult world; one that has been through countless numbers of war, recession, injustice, inequality, racism, religious intolerance, terrorism, discrimination, other political, economic and social problems.. does not diminish my faith in Allah at all. Because I simply do not see how imperfect this world is as a reflection of His magnitude. Surely His creations and designs are flawless as illustrated by some visible to the naked eye such as nature, etc and the latter such as our body system, etc. When I am talking about imperfect world, I'm referring to the misfortunes that we see or go through ourselves. So yes why do we live in such imperfection?

Allah defines perfection. He is One and Almighty. The fact that we are convinced of how flawless He is inclines us to willingly submit ourselves to Him. Would you be willing to accept something or someone that is flawed as your God? Probably not right? So anyway if we were created in perfection in every aspect; (appearance, personality, attitude, behaviour, capability etc) what would distinguish The creator and His creations? How would a perfect form worship another form of perfection? If we were perfect in a sense that we encounter no or little problems in life, why would we seek another form of perfection and in this context Allah?

Significantly, Allah creates problems for us because He wants to test us. It is a test of faith when we are faced with calamity and hardship. It is probably much easier to blame someone when we find ourselves in severity but just think about it for a little while. If you believe in the Hereafter, in places called Paradise and Hell.. the descriptions you have read in the Quran.. doesn't the former sound incredibly blissful and the latter sounds extremely horrifying but both seem to be beyond our imagination. So yes, Allah speaks about Paradise.. it's really the place to be, isn't it? MasyaAllah.. that is the reward for the believers. It is eternal, it is the best place to be as described by Allah.. so.. don't you think to get to such a place requires a 'certificate' or shall I say 'qualification'? When we long for something good i.e. a good grade in an exam or a successful marriage, etc, do they happen without effort? It applies here too, [just an infinity more WORTH (when speaking of Paradise)] don't you think? It requires EFFORT to DESERVE Jannah! So, it is through hardship and challenges Allah provides us platforms to be closer to Him, to enhance our faith in Him, and to ultimately pass the test of faith. He doesn't create problems for you to make you suffer, He creates them despite of that, He loves you and wants you to learn and be strong and stronger and by which we do so by seeking Him. Isn't that beautiful? MasyaAllah, Allah is indisputably the Best Teacher.

Rasulallah S.A.W. said "Verily if Allah loves a people, He makes them go through trials. Whoever is satisfied, for him is contentment, and whoever is angry, upon him is wrath." He loves us. He tests us through trials; to see whether would we stay with Him or would we run away? You know, when things get hard someone would bail out on you and then it is only when someone sticks around after difficult times, you know that friend is true.

I probably don't have much substance to say this but as far as my observation and/or experience goes, one is more likely to seek Allah during bad times and when good times roll, one is probably enjoying life far too much to remember His creator. It is a bad quality of ours, but that is our weakness, one that we are trying to counter, insyaAllah. But yes, so problems are there to remind us of Him; that we can always return to Him in any circumstance. He reminds us by giving us hardship.. that we are weak human beings.. to never lose hope or faith in His mercy. He enhances our humility as a weak servant of His.. pain and hardship have the ability to moderate us, don't you think? In retrospect, reflect back on your experience thus far, has it not? What has been said so far can only exist as my perspective or "theory", and can only be validated by your own experience.

What about patience? I don't think this quality is an inate characteristic.. it is earned. No one says a baby has patience, because they don't. Because they haven't gone through anything in life in order to obtain this quality. It is through challenges and hardship that we have the ability to develop patience and perseverance. When a calamity strikes you, what do you do? I mean, do you attempt to defy it? How? You can't. So you are only left with the option to deal with it. And ofcourse this requires patience. Since then, one can probably apply patience to his daily life. From being patient in waiting in the longest queqe to being patient when somebody wrongs you. To choose patience over anger, conflict and depression. Thus patience is inarguably a blessing from Allah.

"Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods, lives, and the fruits of your toil. But give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere. Those who say, when afflicted with calamity, 'To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return.' They are those on whom descend blessings from their Lord, and mercy. They are the ones who receive guidance." (2:155-157)

It's like.. nothing I can say will defeat that verse above. Only Allah can come up with such depth in 2 ayats.

Comfortingly, hardship is inflicted upon us to atone for our sins, that is if we emerge from them as believers. Rasulallah S.A.W. said "worry, anxiety, pain, fatigue, sickness, or even a thorn that pricks him - when a believer is afflicted with any of these, Allah grants him pardon for some of his sins (through or because of those afflictions)." So this even strengthens the point of which pain and hardship are blessings in disguise; we may not like something that is good for us but like something that is bad for us as Allah says.

And just to emphasize this point more. Rasulallah S.A.W. illustrates the best example, yet again, masyaAllah. We know that Allah loves him, he is described as kekasih Allah, how do you get any closer to Him than that? He was the closest thing to be called a perfect human being. Rasulallah S.A.W. was an exceptional human being; he was Allah's Messenger yet he lived moderately - he truly devoted his life to Allah's causes. Did he live a perfect life though as in no problems, hardship, challenges, etc? That couldn't be further from the truth; this man experienced hardship from the start of his life from being born without a father to losing his mother at 6 and then continously losing the people he loved after that. Not to mention, what he went through in order to preach people about islam and the teachings of Allah.. he was constantly targetted for assassination, etc. Rasulallah S.A.W. wasn't a wealthy man too; he certainly knew the real meaning of hunger and he did not even want to burden anybody of it so much so he put a cloth containing small stones around his stomach to withold his hunger. I wouldn't compare Rasulallah S.A.W. to anyone, no but take him as an example as he should be.. he was immensely loved by Allah and just learn about his life, in which you will find immense struggle and hardship inflicted upon him.. yet he was unscathed. what more us; how can we be not humbled by acknowledging this alone?

Yes, life is difficult. Surely, it feels helpless to watch or experience a variance in degree of hardship and pain from losing a parent to failing an exam to knowing the world being threatened by terrorism to reading about people live under injustice in Iraq, Rwanda, Palestine, etc to standing by idly whilst other people struggle through natural disasters... but one thing that should be maintained here is that Allah is the Best Planner. He created every inch, every bit of any form of existence, shall we not surrender to believe that He has infinite ability to sustain everything according to what He regards as best? Ultimately, we should place our trust in Allah and only then, our faith will not waver, insyaAllah. And it's definitely easier said than done; to be patient and fully accepting whatever comes our way, but insyaAllah He will ease things for us.. there is relief after every hardship Allah says. He never intends anything bad for us.. never; as He had said in the Quran kami sendiri yang menzalimi diri kami.

Okay that was probably a challenge to get through so I thank you for your time! Excuse me for whatever wrong I might have written for which they are derived from my own inadequacies and everything that was good definitely came from none other than Allah Azza Wajalla. InsyaAllah mudahan Allah will continue to guide us towards His righteous path and cleanse our hearts in order to improve our submission to Him. Amin.

my lame attempt to critically analyze (lazyness)

Yell. O.

Okay I'm just really helplessly lazy so I'm going to cheat and write like a primary one composition model.

1. the french government ban on the hijab, burkhas, etc. i was waiting for a while to write about this and then i decided that i don't really have much to say but this. did any of these 'oppressed' women covered in hijabs, burkhas, niqabs, etc plea to be freed, mr sarkozy? aaaaaaaaanooooooo. huh. wellllllll then what is the problem? because?

"well.. becauze.. itz zoe strenge. tek zat of and luk like evryone elze. becoz zat iz ze only way women should luk likez." "and ofkoz becauze oui r zecular. zecularizm.. franze izza zecular ztate!"

yes that was done in such poor taste but who cares. the point is. i don't get it. don't paint yourself democratic if you're going to strip a woman off liberty in her choice of clothing, pleaze?

i mean okay sorry, time to retract condescending claws. and i would just like to say that this is so unawesome for women who choose to cover for the sake of modesty as prescribed by Allah. and I heard that this ban is not really following through in effect, I'm not sure, the news change like everyday. so to speak, they are "mulling" over the issue but let's just hope the french parliament will be enlightened. insyaAllah.

2. wow you know what. this is going to look a lot worse than a primary one composition piece because that is all i have to say.

ska-doodlez x
salam,
teehee