EDIT: ok this post is kind of old. But old doesn't mean stale so hopefully it's still worth a read. and I changed the post title.
This world leaves me breathless. In ways that are neither good nor bad. It arouses confusion and challenges my perception on everything. I ponder about what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I convince myself that my definition of right and wrong all this while had been inaccurate. Other times, I don't know what to think. But you know, thinking is not a bad thing. Thinking too much still might not be all that bad. It's not bad when you think so much about akhirat but it certainly is burdening to think too much about dunia. Because the former is forever and the latter is a dimension you will leave sooner or later and of which we will have no remnants of when we return to our creator. It's too bad that I unnecessarily burdened myself all of these years then.
I think a lot of things in this world have gone wrong. That much is probably easy to see and say. But what is difficult to spot most of the time is. how much have I contributed to the wrongs? Other peoples' flaws will always be noticed by us, which is probably why we're always so quick to judge and backbite other people. it's the easiest thing to do. you just pick one random person in this world. and say bad things about that person. done. other people's goodness are hard to find. it's easier to confront other people's shortcomings than our own. it's easier to talk about other people's wrongs than our own. it's easier to laugh and make fun of other people than ourselves? Our own mistakes, on the other hand, are not that obvious. I'm biting my own tongue when I say this, trust me. We all acknowledge that we're not perfect blah blah but which area needs improvement? What can we do to better ourselves? Like my good friend, hanisah ab had gently reminded me in her post, we must always think the lowest of ourselves. That way, we'll always try to push ourselves to become better people. I don't interpret this as a way of bringing ourselves down and having no confidence in ourselves. But this shall be a humble feature that we should ingrain in ourselves so we protect us from thinking bad about other people perhaps? let's remind ourselves mengapakah perasaan sombong dan bongkak itu buruk? kerana ia adalah tingkah laku iblis. that is the way he acted when Allah asked segala malaikat, jin dan segala makhluk to prostate to nabi Adam. we all know that story. anyway it's not my intention to preach but this is mostly to create a reminder for everyone mostly myself so I stress. But the sadder part has to be when we don't realize the things we hate/dislike about other people are present in our very ownselves :(
I feel like a hypocrite. Ofcourse I do. That's probably one of the worst things you can describe yourself, but I think so. But anyway that doesn't make me want to give up though. I can't eliminate my faults in one go, maybe I can do it gradually day by day. I'm still figuring things out everyday. as you probably are too. we all are weak. we take forward steps today, we will walk backwards again the next day. but Insyallah forward steps >>>>backward steps.
But going back to what I was saying at the start of this post. you only live once. that's what they always say. so live it to the fullest. they say again. what did they mean? study hard til phd, so i can be someone respectable in society? work hard so I can earn tonnes of cash? socialize hard so i gain a dense network of friends, so I become popular?
nay. i will never bring my economics into akhirat. as i will not bring cash and property to the hereafter. i will not remember any of my family and friends in akhirat as they also will not recognize me. our journey is never ending til the day we die, and we have the liberty to choose how we want to get "there" but our destination should not vary. it's up to you to interpret what that means :)
As ush, speaking to myself before anyone else. Salam.
This world leaves me breathless. In ways that are neither good nor bad. It arouses confusion and challenges my perception on everything. I ponder about what is right and what is wrong. Sometimes I convince myself that my definition of right and wrong all this while had been inaccurate. Other times, I don't know what to think. But you know, thinking is not a bad thing. Thinking too much still might not be all that bad. It's not bad when you think so much about akhirat but it certainly is burdening to think too much about dunia. Because the former is forever and the latter is a dimension you will leave sooner or later and of which we will have no remnants of when we return to our creator. It's too bad that I unnecessarily burdened myself all of these years then.
I think a lot of things in this world have gone wrong. That much is probably easy to see and say. But what is difficult to spot most of the time is. how much have I contributed to the wrongs? Other peoples' flaws will always be noticed by us, which is probably why we're always so quick to judge and backbite other people. it's the easiest thing to do. you just pick one random person in this world. and say bad things about that person. done. other people's goodness are hard to find. it's easier to confront other people's shortcomings than our own. it's easier to talk about other people's wrongs than our own. it's easier to laugh and make fun of other people than ourselves? Our own mistakes, on the other hand, are not that obvious. I'm biting my own tongue when I say this, trust me. We all acknowledge that we're not perfect blah blah but which area needs improvement? What can we do to better ourselves? Like my good friend, hanisah ab had gently reminded me in her post, we must always think the lowest of ourselves. That way, we'll always try to push ourselves to become better people. I don't interpret this as a way of bringing ourselves down and having no confidence in ourselves. But this shall be a humble feature that we should ingrain in ourselves so we protect us from thinking bad about other people perhaps? let's remind ourselves mengapakah perasaan sombong dan bongkak itu buruk? kerana ia adalah tingkah laku iblis. that is the way he acted when Allah asked segala malaikat, jin dan segala makhluk to prostate to nabi Adam. we all know that story. anyway it's not my intention to preach but this is mostly to create a reminder for everyone mostly myself so I stress. But the sadder part has to be when we don't realize the things we hate/dislike about other people are present in our very ownselves :(
I feel like a hypocrite. Ofcourse I do. That's probably one of the worst things you can describe yourself, but I think so. But anyway that doesn't make me want to give up though. I can't eliminate my faults in one go, maybe I can do it gradually day by day. I'm still figuring things out everyday. as you probably are too. we all are weak. we take forward steps today, we will walk backwards again the next day. but Insyallah forward steps >>>>backward steps.
But going back to what I was saying at the start of this post. you only live once. that's what they always say. so live it to the fullest. they say again. what did they mean? study hard til phd, so i can be someone respectable in society? work hard so I can earn tonnes of cash? socialize hard so i gain a dense network of friends, so I become popular?
nay. i will never bring my economics into akhirat. as i will not bring cash and property to the hereafter. i will not remember any of my family and friends in akhirat as they also will not recognize me. our journey is never ending til the day we die, and we have the liberty to choose how we want to get "there" but our destination should not vary. it's up to you to interpret what that means :)
As ush, speaking to myself before anyone else. Salam.
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