Weak.

Remember Raihan? Probably every kid could sing every word of their songs way back when. I was certainly one of them. It was only that one album that got me hooked though. Anyway this particular song and its first verse is just so spot on.

Sebenarnya hati ini cinta kepadaMu
Sebenarnya diri ini rindu kepadaMu
Tapi aku tidak mengerti mengapa cinta masih tak hadir
Tapi aku tidak mengerti mengapa rindu belum berbunga

I feel that way. I love God, but.. it doesn't feel.. nowhere near enough. It's there but I'm just not doing it right. I miss Him everyday yet I still don't seek Him. Even when I do.. it's never enough. It's always inconsistent with me; I don't know.. I mean I don't have to say that it's so, so, so easy to get drowned in this seductive world of greed, cruelty, money, lust etc. We all know how that is. Entah lah.. all I know is that it will take time for me, might be a while until I get there or if ever (which btw is really scary). But whilst I remember, I pray that Insyallah, He will bring me, my family and friends to the most righteous path. Amin.