stop yourself from stopping yourself

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah, Most Loving, Most Merciful. greetings upon Rasulullah SAW, the most perfect person sent as a mercy to the world. 

it's funny, you know, sometimes how different you look at the world or life itself as you age. it could be the same, exact thing four years ago and you can have it again today, and most likely you would probably feel differently towards it. 

sounding pretty cryptic here, but anyway I guess I just thought about what I would say to my younger self. I realised that growing up, I had this mindset about avoiding mistakes as much as possible. so much so, that it almost always took away the courage to try things that scared me or had the possibility of me failing. 

because today, I would say that we shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes. that we shouldn't waste our times to seek perfection, because that's probably the furthest thing that we should be attaining in life well for one because it's unattainable, so we would find ourselves chasing for something that will never be in our reach. so apparently it's okay to make mistakes, and not to be afraid to make them because sometimes that's the best way to learn. 

also, I guess we get scared to feel pain thinking that it would make us less somehow. but again, to deprive us of that wouldn't advance us as a person at all... I mean we shouldn't always not put ourselves out there, to protect us from pain... because if we always make decisions based on that then when else would we find the strength to recover? when else would we have the beauty to find a cure? when else would we know the difference between pain and joy or relief? 

this isn't an expression of regret, i certainly hope not. of course there are always those thoughts about wishing to do things differently, etc... but surely things happen for a reason, and good ones. it's not about changing history, it's about learning from history and looking forward to a better future. it's so corny i know but just think for a moment, how true that can be. it's all about the resolve, you know, certainly we can't do things differently in the past... but we can do so now... and more so in the future. 

so how ever old you are... go on and take a step outside of your comfort zone, do things for the right reasons, and while it's rational to always seek for things that you feel secure about, life has to be more than being good at what you do... because it also needs to be about doing something and probably falling flat on our faces, but then there would come that moment when we get to lift ourselves off and smile or even cry because at least we felt the ground. who wants to sit on a pedestal for the rest of their lives anyway. 

I mean, don't get scared to get wet, because surely you know that you'd be dry again.

so dear, please... don't be so overprotective of yourself... so much so that it stops you from living. don't be scared about bruises and scars, just make sure they mean something. 

most times, we would discover that the hardest barricade to overcome in life is our own selves. sure other people or things can try to block us from whatever, but only we get to decide our attitude to deal with them. i read this profound quote which says "your attitude determines your altitude". interesting, eh?  

most importantly, sow the right intentions and ask Allah for guidance. because at the end of it, what else do we seek for if it's not to be closer to Him? in this world, we don't get to see Him, but there are so many clues or signs rather that He's given for us to find our way. so no, don't live for the sake of living... don't feel unafraid in vain... for sure fear is necessary, keep it in a good amount... and just remember to lean on Him. isn't that just the best way? 

ahhh... and make doas... that we would be chosen to be of those who get to see Him in the Hereafter. certainly that must be the greatest reason to live. 

Ramadan reflections

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

all praises and thanks belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem. salutations to our beloved Rasulullah SAW, the best creation to have ever walked on the surfaces of Earth. 

Can you believe that Allah has granted us yet another Ramadan? So much mercy. One of the best gifts that we could ever receive in our lifetime, really. Ramadan Kareem to all of you.

Allah’s Messenger SAW said, “When the month of Ramadan starts, the gates of the heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are chained.” [Bukhari]

Allah has definitely made much ease for us during this holy month, not to say that He doesn't during other months, but more so in Ramadan, what with, among others, the gates of Heaven being opened and gates of Hell being closed and that the devils are chained. 

Having said that, I hope people realise that this doesn't mean that things become easy without effort. Yes the devils are chained during Ramadan, but it doesn't mean that we turn into angels. Our free will is maintained, and our nafs remains with us. So, sometimes, we may encounter ourselves having bad thoughts or whatnot during Ramadan, that must be the nafs. It's sad yes, that you realise that we are capable of it, even without syaitan, but you know what, we have to overcome it. That's the point. 

If we aren't able to deter bad thoughts or action in Ramadan, without the interference of Syaitan, how would we be able to do so outside of Ramadan, when Syaitan presents us a book of bad ideas to execute? We have to acknowledge what our role is in this month; and most importantly tell nafs who's the boss! 

It's the same way with doing good deeds... like let's say someone wants to start praying regularly in Ramadan. Yes, which better month to change than this time, but honestly it can only happen when one takes the step forward. It doesn't work in such a way that one day before Ramadan we were in a state of heedlessness, and then we wake up it's Ramadan, suddenly our limbs are taking action we find ourselves subconsciously performing solat. No. 

Ramadan is not an act of throwing some fairy dusts onto someone or a pious person touching someone's head while reciting some Quranic verses and poof holy they become. No. 

Ramadan is like a platform. But we have to get up on the stage, if we want to make the step forward. Trust me. Yes I know it's hard, but trust me because. 

The month of Ramadan is that in which the Quran was revealed, a guidance to men and clear proofs of the guidance and the distinction; therefore whoever of you is present in the month, he shall fast therein, and whoever is sick or upon a journey, then (he shall fast) a (like) number of other days; Allah desires ease for you, and He does not desire for you difficulty, and (He desires) that you should complete the number and that you should exalt the greatness of Allah for His having guided you and that you may give thanks. [Al Baqarah:185]

I don't get tired of saying how Ramadan is not just about the restrain from food, drinks and other desires. Simply because it's not. The Quran was sent down to us during this month, Ramadan is the month of Quran. How do we celebrate this month without bonding with the Quran, like we have ever done in other months? We appreciate Quran all 12 months long, there is no doubt about that, but let's use Ramadan as a time to do more with it. Perhaps, recite more of it, reflect upon it more, listen to its recitation, anything.. and may we become people who are more grateful! 

We simply cannot make this like any other month, that's just like making business with no profit. 

I mean, it's just so easy as well to lose sight of Ramadan, especially when it has become somewhat of a custom. Even more crazy is that we have associated this month with more buffet and eateries - facepalm. But it's a reality. However, it's not one that I want to teach my children. I don't want them to grow up thinking that Ramadan is about having less hours at school/work, (buffet) iftars and terawih. [Of course, terawih is one of the special things about Ramadan, and I don't belittle it, but there is somewhat of even that being a culture, and I don't think that's what it should be!] 

So Ramadan is midway now, but still not too late. For us to embrace this month, for what it truly represents - and this is really up to ourselves. We can be told what it means, so and so, such and such, but the only one who can really live it is ourselves through the choices that we make. Remember - we still make our own choices. may Allah guide us to make the right ones. aameen. 

I, myself, have much to fix and Allah knows it. Please forgive me for my wrongdoings. 

So, please, let's make doas for one another, and set the intentions for the best Ramadan that we have ever experienced, and for our good habits to remain beyond Ramadan and for our bad habits to be buried forever after it. 

may Allah accept all our good deeds, may Allah guide us to keep firm and steadfast in His deen til the end, may we gain taqwa, may we develop a closer bond with the Quran, may Allah forgive all of our sins, may He save us all from the Fire and may He enter us all into Jannatul Firdaus without reckoning aameen ya Rabb. 

Dear Allah...

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

Assalamualaikum wrb,

Alhamdulillah thumma alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah SWT, the Most Merciful, Most Loving, Most Forgiving. may Allah forgive all our sins and guide our hearts to true and sincere repentance aameen. greetings and salutations upon our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW, our role model. 

it hasn't been that long since the first time I fell in love with You... but why do I struggle to remember it sometimes? why is it so difficult to contain the feelings but so easy for it to slip away and forget? yet in spite of all of that, i know that Your love for me is still there, even when I was wavering and weakening, You are still there... ready to wait for me to come back running to You.. and You would open Your arms for me, and pick up pieces of my heart and mend them whole again. 

Your unconditional love sustains me, Your mercy enables me to breathe, even during the darkest hours, and I didn't know what to do or think, You held me when nobody else knew what I was going through. I spoke and You listened. Sometimes even my heart became hard, You surprised me with a glimmer of hope that brought me back. 

I am weak and You know so. You are my only source of strength. During times of hardship, You know what I can bear even when I didn't know myself. You gave them to me, only because You wanted to hear me speak.. cry and shed tears, handing over my affairs to You and it was all You teaching me to rely on You. and indeed, everything that I had been able to get through was all due to You. 

certainly I haven't been as best as I could be. but Your love really encourages me... despite my infinite flaws.  teach me ya Rabb to love and worship You the way that You are pleased with. 


You have always been there, since day zero. Before I knew myself.  but I hope my happiest moment is yet to come. because the happiest moment is when a slave gets to see the face of his Master. make me and my loved ones of Your slaves who will be granted the sight of You, ya Wadud, aameen. 


o Allah... guide us to the straight path. Allahumma aameen. 

the price of memories

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah wa astaghfirullah.  all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most Beautiful, Most Loving. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW, a man who was the kindest of all mankind. 

one of the beauties of life is how things never really play out according to our own plan(s). It has a way or ways of surprising us that just leave us wondering sometimes, or rather not even realising. 

maybe that's one of the ways i could describe about my experience in New York. the first thing i would say about it is just how much i have learnt. it goes beyond words with how much I would be going home with, and I am very happy about that. 

and by learn, i mean in more ways than one. things relating to my work, of course, the people, the place, the environment, the.. feel of things... and probably ones that i'm not aware of yet. hehe. 

honestly though New York is filled with fitnah.  drowning in bad things, i wouldn't deny that. yet that's not all there is to it. one of the things we should do in life is not look at things in a unidimensional way. there are a lot more angles that we should explore before we start defining it or deciding upon it. 

there are acts or moments of kindness that I have seen here, that are downright beautiful. and thats when i realise that New York doesn't just belong to the United states of America. but New York is owned by the Highest ruler, the King of all kings and the most Majestic of all. doesn't that just make so much sense? this place is not owned by Muslims, but you can always find islam, mercy in it... because mercy doesn't originate from Muslims, it comes from Allah. and He is everywhere. and because of that, we will find kindness anywhere. and may He guide and choose us to be those which reflect kindness and mercy wherever we are. aameen. 

it's kind of funny, because i am so desperate to come home! just because I am like that, I was like this when I studied away from home, and I am like this when I am working away from home.. albeit this is only just a few months! ha-ha! just the way i am wired, i guess. i miss my family a lot and I just can't wait to go hold Saif and Wa'iz :') 

but somehow, today, I feel very sentimental. of course! it's so predictable, (yet still unexpected somehow), just towards the near end, isn't that just how human nature is? or just me? hehe. you always look at things with more value as you are getting compelled to let go of them.

oh new york. what a ride it has been. i am looking forward to get off now, very much so. and to be honest, i don't necessarily want to take a second ride. but you know what? we will see. 

alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for the opportunities. and please forgive me for my sins and errors. 

Change

bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most Loving, Most Merciful. 

salutations and greetings upon our beloved prophet, Muhammad SAW, the best of mankind. 

i came across this the other day...

People say to you, 'you've changed', or something like that, well, I hope for the sake of God you have changed, because I don't want to be the same person all my life. I want to be growing, I want to be expanding. I want to be changing. Because animate things change, inanimate things don't change. Dead things don't change. And the heart should be alive, it should be changing, it should be moving, it should be growing, its knowledge should be expanding. - Sheikh Hamza Yusuf 

I have heard the phrase before that goes something along the lines of 'everyone wants to change the world but the world ends up changing them'. 

I know it is supposed to bring a different meaning but then on second thought, why shouldn't the world change us? 

Looking at the world now, can we really afford to stay the same?

Every day, we wake up to increasingly unacceptable crimes committed by the Zionists against our brothers and sisters in Palestine.

It's heartbreaking enough to witness the atrocities that our brothers and sisters are going through. These children, either they have died , injured or they have lost their parents and loved ones through the attacks... it's painful.  Parents... whether they have had difficult times trying to conceive or otherwise.. and then just like that, being handed a lifeless body. That's... immeasurably painful. We are somewhat only 'watching' as these things happen... and we already feel broken. Imagine what they are going through themselves, we can't. SubhanAllah.

And then some more, the tragedy, above all these things above and beyond, is the silence that we hear from our Muslim leaders.  It keeps getting worse - the illegitimate government of Egypt, is blatantly COOPERATING with the Israeli government. Come on, man, open the Rafah border, would solve so much of the crisis and rescue so many. Yet no, only just adding "success" to the military operations of the Israeli Defence Forces (IDF) in their ground invasion. 

There is also of course the champion of human rights, who is at the same time championing Israel's violations of human rights and call it "self-defence", Israel's best friend. You know that kind of friendship that is based on fear of losing self-interests and defined by lobbying and threat... The position of those who have taken the side of Netanyahu's government is despicable, to say the least. 

Given so, I am pretty sure that we have nothing but contempt for these people. But they aren't worth it. 

It's much better to be telling Allah about these people and trust that Allah will deal with them Himself. SubhanAllah, what is more powerful than that? 

Does he think that never will anyone overcome him?He says, "I have spent wealth in abundance."Does he think that no one has seen him?(Surah Al-Balad:5-7)

Anyway the question is what would be the productive thing for us to do? What are we going to do about all of these? Where do we stand in all of it? 

Firstly, talk to Allah, make lots of doas, and ask Allah for help. That is, without debate, the most top priority.  

Ask Him to guide us. to guide us to do what we can, inspire us to play the role in this conflict although we are so far away from the fight, spiritually we must be near to the conflict. if we feel so helpless and don't know what to do, don't understand what needs to be done... ask Allah. 

Then, we have to get ourselves educated about this issue. Was this conflict derived from the 3 Israeli teenagers who were said to be kidnapped and then killed ergo everything up til today has been the Israeli's government's retaliation? No... 

This is an old story, that we must attempt to understand and embrace. It is not wise to be following this issue without understanding the cause we are standing up for. Only through greater and better understanding of this issue, our stand will be enhanced, will be able to generate much more productive action against the oppression of our brothers and sisters e.g. financial contributions and boycott. 

N.B: Personally, I don't wish to dwell too much about boycott. If you are doing it, that's incredibly fantastic, hats off to ya. If you aren't, then okay, I don't condemn you, but at the same time please don't speak against it. The issue of boycott has to do with us actually adjusting to new habits and a change in lifestyle (depends on the extent of boycott one is going for). Therefore, it can't be done with compulsion. When we truly understand why we need to take part in boycott will we be able to boycott. Until then, we will have a million reasons why it wouldn't work. 

There are many other ways, I have seen some different things that people across the world are doing, alhamdulillah. whatever it may be, within our capacity, there must be something that we can do. 

So, again, ask ourselves... should we remain? should we stay the same? do we have a reason to change? 

Look again at our own lives. Is it really true that it is only the Palestinians that are in this fight? Is it only an issue of the Middle East? We need to figure out how we are related to this issue, in a wider way than explaining that we are all Muslims - that much is true, but there remains a bigger story that we must uncover within ourselves.  

Don't insult our intellect by letting the media dictate the narrative of the global situation. Think for ourselves with the gifts Allah has given us. 

I don't claim to have answers for you, but I just hope that this can be a means for us to get there. 

this is Palestine. there are many other issues that also need our urgent attention i.e. Syria, Egypt, Rohingya, Iraq, Thailand, China, Kashmir, more than we know... may Allah guide us to remember the struggles of our brothers and sisters in other parts of the world, who remain underrepresented and whose voices are muted by those who oppress them. may Allah grant all of you strength to overcome and keep firmness and steadfastness in His deen aameen. 

The other important thing that we must realise is, despite all the chaos, it does not diminish the fact that Allah's blessings and mercy are immense. It is easy to lose hope and think pessimistic, and suddenly forget about the beauty of life as these atrocities happen. But, know that Allah carries out His plans in the most flawless of ways in which we do not necessarily have understanding of. The fact that maybe we don't see His wisdom, doesn't mean that there is no wisdom. 

I find it to be amazing that despite the majority of the world i.e. media, governments and others show bias in the conflict YET Allah has chosen for us to see the truth no matter what. Considering the amount of effort that the wrongdoers have spent on concealing truth and generating false propaganda, we still find truth. subhanAllah indeed truth cannot be drowned, no matter what happens, because it is owned by the Most Truthful, Most Powerful. 

Thank you to each and everyone who has reported and stated the truth, may Allah guide them through these events to Him aameen.

To our beautiful brothers and sisters in Palestine, Allah has shown us each and every one of you going through this immense difficulty is a hero. may Allah protect all of you, may He grant you all extraordinary strength and patience, may victory be granted to all of you, all the other oppressed ones across the world as well as ourselves who may be going through different tests and difficulties (according to what Allah wills). may Allah guide us to be building blocks in the victory of the ummah aameen. may we all be reunited in jannatul firdaus allahumma aameen. 

forgive me for my errors, may Allah protect me from evil intentions and may Allah accept every effort from us. may Allah grant us more opportunities to meet Ramadan and may we exit the month with treasures beyond expectation aameen.  

Exalted is He who took His Servant by night from al-Masjid al-Haram to al-Masjid al- Aqsa, whose surroundings We have blessed, to show him of Our signs. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Seeing.
Surah al-Isra: 1

presents that took years to unfold

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most Kind, Most Merciful.

His blessings are everywhere. some days we go without remembering them, may He forgive our forgetfulness aameen.  other days by His mercy, we are reminded by these favours and there is just a feeling inside of you only He knows. 

hehe. 

particularly i got reminded about how awesome my uncles and aunts are.  they didn't do anything unique or anything today but somehow.

feeling blessed. for how they have been present in our lives. just the way that they raised us. 

being an aunt now especially, seems natural to observe some of the the best ways how they have been there for us. even for the things that i may not know about. 

the way that you know that they have your best interests at heart. 

the way that you know that they think of you as their own. 

alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah.  thank you.  i ask that Allah grant them all khair dunia akhirat and jannatul firdaus aameen.  may we be reunited there too one day aameen. 

Allah's gifts are everywhere. and in many forms. 

Dearest Saif and Wa'iz, i love you very much and I ask Allah to guide me to love you for His sake, be there for you always and be good to you as how Rasulullah SAW treated the young ones. 

may we always be amongst of those who are always grateful to Him aameen. 

problems vs favours

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

assalamualaikum

all praises and thanks belong to Allah... salutations upon our beloved Rasulullah SAW.

sometimes things don't go as well as we planned them.

sometimes things don't go at all.

but that's life, you know... what would it be if it we were always to get what we wanted?

sometimes when things don't... go... are the way things are... supposed to go.

all i'm saying is that... above the list of problems that we claim to have... is the book of favours that we should be flipping its pages on... in which such a book is still being written...

yes the list of  problems will also continue to expand... but so is the book of favours...

such is the nature of the human... o Allah...

being grateful is not merely Alhamdulillah on the tongue.  what good are the words i love you if i don't actually... do?  

o Allah, please guide us to truly be Your slaves who are always grateful to You allahumma aameen.

forgive me for all my errors and may Allah forgive us all aameen.

love story.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Since she was a little girl, she seemed to dream of a perfect life like those of Disney fairytales she always knew. But she looks at her life and sees that she is nowhere close to what she envisioned to be. Why couldn't I just be like a princess and have that happily ever after?

He has always wanted the best for her. She just couldn't see.

 

Most of her life, she searched and searched for love that will give her the contentment that she so admires from other women she sees.  Why aren't you here yet, my love wherever you are?

He has always been there though.  She just couldn't see.

 

There were times when she felt so down. She was devastated, depressed and felt so alone. Where do I go and what do I do?

 

He has always listened to her cries.  She just couldn't see.

 

And then there were moments where she felt like on top of the world. Like happiness was all she knew. She had all these people to share it with and life suddenly became so wonderful. But why oh why do I still feel like there's an empty hole inside of me?

 

He has been waiting for her...  He has been patient with her...  He....

Suddenly things went dark.  Almost pitch black, she doesn't know where she is.  As she walked and walked hopelessly, flashes of her life has gone by and she cried and she cried.  And suddenly she stumbled upon light.

She found herself awoken from some deep sleep.  For the first time, it felt as if her heart had just come to life. 

Yes, only He could complete her puzzle within.  All praises and thanks belong to Allah, for she has found herself.  Only He could wait for her like He did and most importantly only He could love her the way He does.

mission possible

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,


everyone goes around asking the same question
and some go into every valley and only to find oppression
while there are ones who reconnect with the divine guidance
and no question, now that is the substance.


but don't think now for a second
that now with this known mission
life is all fine and without turbulence
we can't just say we do, we must follow it by action


the devil will always be around to screw you
learn to recognize his voices,
he will fuel you constantly until the day is due,
always ask from Him for protection and strength to make the right choices


this life has no security,
no matter how big this world appears to be,
the diamonds and glitz will all fade into obscurity,
and all we can hope for is the mercy in His decree.

And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me. (adh-Dhariyat:56)

And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew. (al-Ankabut:64)

May Allah guide us to live for the Hereafter, and fulfill our purpose and may He grant us all jannatul firdaus with our loved ones, aameen. 

the greatest love

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

the first time i can't remember,
but You always reminded me,
coming here somehow made me forget,
but You always reminded me.

no one would wait so long,
but You are the only one,
no one would accept me so unconditionally,
but You are the only one.

i fell down and it hurt,
when no one else could comfort,
You so graciously pulled and encouraged me to get up,
Although it was really You doing all the work.

looking back at this journey thus far,
yes i still am not up to par,
but so many times and so many places
i could have easily strayed but because of Your grace...

Your love and mercy... struck something inside of my heart,
like suddenly my soul just awoke and got recharged,
oh wow... 
this beautiful life
is not because of the shiny gold designs that used to entice me,
oh it's... now i see with my eyes through the heart You cleansed for me,
i begin to see my Creator with all that surrounds me...

and when everything seems to fail,
the smile and strength may fade sometimes, but You always remind me to stay arise,
because all that is with You is the prize.

"Dan apa saja (kekayaan, jabatan, keturunan) yang diberikan kepada kamu, maka itu adalah kesenangan hidup duniawi dan perhiasannya; sedang apa yang disisi Allah adalah lebih baik dan lebih kekal. Tidakkah kamu mengerti?" (Al-Qasas:60)

perspective of the prospective

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb, 

alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alamin, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds, ar Rahman ar Raheem. we seek forgiveness of our and our parents' sins. and greetings upon Rasulullah SAW. 

it has been quite some time since i got back, and initially it felt like a belated summer holiday. but progressively, i am gradually trying to come into terms with the transition from being a student to, i guess the next stage of adult life, that may contain a lot of different, new things ranging from personal to professional... stuff. 

there is a bit of a struggle, for many of us presumably, to follow through with this transition. maybe some or a lot of withdrawal symptoms. we have been studying and going to school for most of our lives, and now it has come to an end, of course we are going to encounter some form of bump. and the fact that we have to jump onto a completely different stage, the working life, and a lot more responsibilities that entails, is most definitely not easy (it varies among different personalities). yes it's going to be weird, new, terrifying, exciting... but it is pretty inevitable, we know that right?

and it's weird maybe that I am writing as if I have been there already, or has been in the next stage for a while, and knowing what it would feel like and whatnot. i don't claim that at all, but what I am trying to carry through is some sort of mindsetting for myself especially, and if it is relevant for some of you then maybe including you. it's so important that we prepare ourselves mentally and spiritually entering into this new phase, just so we come into it somewhat positively, knowing what and why and how we are going into this big change. you know?

it was a deal you know? remember? study for a few years, do what we gotta do, pass our exams, and then come back to give back after being given? we are investment(s), and of course we want to be good investments and ones those are, are those which give good returns.   we should also remind ourselves to refresh our intentions. what good returns do we want to become? just a financial means? or way beyond that?

wherever we are in life (both literally and metaphorically)... we must remember that the reason why we are where we are is because Allah put us there. He decides for us to be where, so we must convince ourselves that His decisions are the best and indisputable and completely flawless. even when we cannot see the good, His wisdom is best. when we successfully internalize this, we would have less trouble of settling down and our main concern would be... heh it's funny now, bringing my point here is that wherever we are, our purpose of life, or main concern in life... will never change... back when we were students, it was the same thing... to serve Allah.. and guess what now we no longer are, we are still here to serve Allah. He is just sending and giving us different medium to explore, to gain more knowledge and to give us what we need, rather than what we want :') :'D ahhh how beautiful is He. 

personally, and maybe for some of you as well, i miss it already, the student life. but that's OK. it doesn't mean that i'm rebelling against where i am right now. my experiences for the past 4 years held a lot of great and not so great memories that really shaped who I am today, and it is OK to hold onto them. but at the same time, i need to get my head on the road ahead, whilst it is ok to look back sometimes. I pray that He guides me and strengthens me to improve myself, to be more thankful to Him, to seek more forgiveness from Him to continue on this journey and make the best out of where He wants me to be, as long as He is pleased with me. 

i don't imagine it's going to be easy, and that i am not going to complain or anything, i can't promise... all I know is that i have to get my intention right first and foremost. and when that one is right... when it is for Allah... He will drive us and what is left after the effort is to trust Him, and who is more trustworthy than Lord of all the Worlds? :') :') :')

take comfort that wherever we will go (metaphorically), it won't be in vain when we really internalize that Allah's plans for us are best and it's not about being easy, rather we should seek Allah more to give us strength to carry on with whatever in store for us. and do remember that throughout the things we don't like in life.. will come the things that we do like! insyaAllah :D it is also training us to be more patient hopefully aameen. 

astaghfirullahx3... may Allah protect me from wrong intentions, may He accept this from me, may He grant us guidance and strength for this next stage and become more submissive to Him alone aameen. 

pls forgive me for any err i may have caused you and may Allah grant us barakah on this holy day aameen!

p.s. don't forget to read surah al-Kahf today ;) Friday it's Friday... AIF.. alhamdulillah it's Friday! 

wassalam.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not (al Baqarah:216)

welcome to the world

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

Alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah, wa Allahuakhbar wa Astaghfirullah... all praises and thanks belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem, al Ghafur al Wadud.. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW...

guyyyyyysssssssssssss... my bro is a dad!!!! sooo my sister and I are officially aunties!! my dad is a granddad! me mom is a grandmaaaa... and my grandma is a greatgrandma!!! ni laki is like a dato! (not sure what baby will address nini!) hehehe :D i'm so ecstatic to meet the little one, insyaAllah... hehehehe... ahmad saif rafi'ie :'D

Allah is so amazing you know.. i just can't help but think like.. wow... subhanAllah, such a perfect form came out like... wow... Allah is so perfect... Allah is sooooo Great... baby saif is an ayat.. hehehe :'D like seriouslyyyy baby ani ehhhh buat aku speechless bah. Allahuakhbar :')

i don't really know what else to say... other than i'm becoming obsessed with the baby, even across continents! hahahahaha. i can't wait to hold him and smell his baby smellin goodness.... insyaAllah. yaaaaays. can't wait til this is over, by this i meant masters... in the process of tying things up together, by that i mean dissertation... insyaAllah will submit soonnnn... doakan yaaaa... 

this is pretty overdue btw.. my baby i mean my bro's baby is almost a week old hehehehe... but doesn't matter... he will be big news to us for as long as ever insyaAllah... sayangku saif :') in love... so in love...

may Allah bless you little one, may Allah bless us through you, may Allah make you qurratua'yun to us all ameen...

sigh... alhamdulillah...

2As

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah, ar Rahman ar Raheem...greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW...

as promised, this is the last of the iRamadan series at least this year hehe insyaAllah. anyway so how's Ramadan been for all of you? it's been going by pretty quickly eh, may Allah guide us to accomplish mission taqwa ameen :D

as we are approaching its end, insyaAllah, we should try to evaluate our progress, and reflect upon our ups and downs thus far, and really be honest with ourselves who do we want to be as Ramadan leaves us and Syawal welcomes us. and I know for myself, it's definitely hard to keep the version of you in Ramadan, as in the other 11 months.

not long ago, i asked for some advice on how to keep firm and steadfast in this deen.. and this wise man (whom we met randomly at a park during our picnic last July! subhanAllah!) said to engage in two things.. which are astaghfirullah and alhamdulillah. 2As. (may Allah reward him with an abundance of good and have mercy on him and his family and give them all jannatul firdaus ameen, he was an amazing man subhanAllah.)

 life is not infinite, and we really don't know what is ahead of us, yet we keep ourselves occupied with things that are as if life is infinite and not be bothered about what we are going to proceed in the next life. it's really simple advice and pretty practical as well... the next time we complain about something, remember that however 'unfortunate' your situation is, gratefulness to Allah is ALWAYS due. 

 and I really speak to myself before anyone else, but we really gotta tone down the complaining and start focusing on what we have. Allah really knows best what we are capable and have we ever not wondered that the reason why we don't have the things that we oh so desire is because Allah knows we are not capable to own them? the more that we have, the more that we need to answer on the Day of Judgment.. so what is it really that we're complaining about? 

and yeah come what may, highly likely we're going to fall somewhere along the lines in this journey and that's OK. always remember to keep begging for forgiveness and be thankful at everything that Allah has given us and NOT given us... we will find and gather the strength to pick ourselves up to carry forward until.. hopefully... jannah ;) may Allah grant us with our loved ones jannatul firdaus ameen. 

may Allah forgive all our sins, purify our intentions, accept all our good deeds in this blessed month, may Allah give us more opportunities to meet Ramadan in the future, may Allah increase us in beneficial knowledge and good character, may Allah grant us taqwa from Ramadan and the time ahead to come, may Allah have mercy on our parents and families, may Allah guide us all to the straight path til the end, may Allah resurrect us with the prophets and righteous ones ameen. 

please forgive me for anything i have done to err you, in any way shape or form.. please make doa for me and my family, may Allah protect me from evil intentions and may He accept this from me ameen. 

wassalam

just give it

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah, all praises belong to Allah, Lord of all the worlds, ar Rahman ar Raheem.. may Allah forgive our sins, and greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW. 

how's your Ramadan been going? may Allah make ease in all our efforts and accept them in trying this month ameen. 

this month is really about training ourselves, not only from the physical aspect of food and drinks, but rather some restraint of the nafs. we are more likely to take than give, just because maybe taking gives out more pleasure. but hang on a sec, let's ponder a bit about this give and take business. 

i'm going to narrow this discussion down and take money as an example. many of us had been tested with money before, either with an abundance or a lack of it. but you know what, either way, haven't we found ourselves complaining about having not enough, and could be having more? Yep, insatiable. Astaghfirullah. We should always be grateful at what we have, and don't compare your blessings with others, no one but Allah decides who gets how much and the other gets what, we should just look at our plate and thank Him, cause it's when we look at another plate which maybe has more, will we tend to feel ungrateful. may Allah protect us from ingratitude ameen.

but anyway somehow we all love keeping money. sure money is great... it makes life a lot easier. and at every opportunity to get some, we will take with little hesitation but when the moment requires us to give... we think twice. 

subhanAllah, don't we realize that all the money that we have is from Allah SWT, nothing is from us, really... and to be honest, we don't even really own any of it, it's all Allah's, His mercy and love to shower us with such rezeki... and we have to reciprocate with gratitude, which is to spend money for the sake of Allah, in the path of Allah. it is certainly not wrong to buy things for ourselves and stuff, no but what I want to remind ourselves is that we need to also give to the needy, and just generally practise giving. 

this helps us to detach ourselves from money, helps to keep control with our relationship with money, so that the love for money doesn't affect our heart. and also realize that money isn't to be kept, what good is there to keep so much money, not one cent is going to benefit us in the grave or the Hereafter. and also know that spending money for the sake of Allah always benefits us, maybe we see a decreasing bank balance when we spend it on others, but know that we also have an akhirat balance, that when we spend for Allah's sake, oh only Allah knows how much cash just got in! subhanAllah, may Allah reward all our good with plentiful of good in the Hereafter ameen.

and have we ever thought that the reason why Allah gave us in the first place is just so we could give back, to earn His pleasure and make it easy for us to earn jannah points?? bonus! ehehe Allah is the Kindest! 

so let's practise giving this month, and insyaAllah keep firm and steadfast for the rest of the year, and remember to give for Allah's sake has no other outcome but profit :) 

And why do you not spend in the cause of Allah while to Allah belongs the heritage of the heavens and the earth? (al-Hadid:10)

Who is it that would loan Allah a goodly loan so He will multiply it for him and he will have a noble reward? (al-Hadid:11)

a reminder for myself first and foremost, and please forgive me if I have said anything wrong, and may Allah protect me from misguided intentions, and may Allah accept this effort from me, and blesses my family with a lot of good ameen. may Allah guide our hearts to give for His sake ameen. 

book or miracle?

bismillahirrahmanirrahim,

assalamualaikum wrb,

alhamdulillah tsumma alhamdulillah, all praises and thanks belong to Allah, Most High Most Wise.. may He forgive all our sins and guide us to sincere repentance ameen.. greetings and salutations upon Rasulullah SAW..

i hope your Ramadan is going well, and your plan is going smoothly insyaAllah.

a lot of us tend to associate Ramadan with fasting, and of course that is a given. but I hope we don't overlook also at another reason why Ramadan is so special, is that it was in this month that the Quran was sent down.

"The month of Ramadhan [is that] in which was revealed the Qur'an, a guidance for the people and clear proofs of guidance and criterion. So whoever sights [the new moon of] the month, let him fast it; and whoever is ill or on a journey - then an equal number of other days. Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship and [wants] for you to complete the period and to glorify Allah for that [to] which He has guided you; and perhaps you will be grateful." (al-Baqarah:185)

and what better time than now would it be to revive or increase our intimacy with the Quran? so how's our relationship with the Quran these days?

truth be told... if we really believe that the Quran is our guidance, our manual for life... we would always have it by our side. we would know what is being said and remember the content. it wouldn't have to take a religious occasion for us to touch it... or open it. it would be our daily speech because it is constantly in our hearts and minds. we would make reading it everyday as a priority. 

but sadly, this may not always be the case. maybe i used to think that reading the Quran everyday, especially when there is no 'religious' occasion is weird, and that people carrying the Quran around everywhere they go are somewhat 'religious'... but how am I going to proceed with life without knowing and understanding the proper guidance? trust me, I have gone with life doing so, and it was shallow and empty.

why did I choose that life a while ago? because i used to see the Quran as only a book... well it is a book... what separates it from other books? it is a book if we leave it on the shelf... just like any other... but come to think of it, sometimes we allow ourselves to be affected by romance novels, stories of wizards and magic, etc, how much of a travesty is that? astaghfirullahalazim.. 

but you see the Quran is a miracle... when we place it in our hearts. if you don't believe me, why don't you try moving it from the shelf to your heart? ;) 

so how? read it... not just the Arabic, since many of us don't understand Arabic, it is essential that we have the Quran with translation, so that we can read and understand with our hearts and that is how we will find the true meaning of life, and solace... spending time with Allah through the Quran. 

and don't worry, if we find ourselves struggling with reading it, Allah always values us for our efforts rather than the results... here's some more motivation... 

The Messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) said: Verily the one who recites the Qur’an beautifully, smoothly, and precisely, he will be in the company of the noble and obedient angels. And as for the one who recites with difficulty, stammering or stumbling through its verses, then he will have TWICE that reward.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

all good is from Allah completely, and all that is flawed is from my own inadequacies, please do forgive me and make doa that Allah accepts this from me and rewards my family with abundance of good and may this Ramadan be our best one yet that will increase our ranks in the Hereafter and may Allah guide us to strengthen our relationship with Him through the Quran ameen.

wassalam